What is a Birth doula? Do I need to hire one? My friends say it was the best thing they ever did!
I hope to answer those questions here and what I, as your Doula could offer:
Doula verse Midwife?
A doula is a person trained to advise, inform, and offer emotional and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and after the birth of her child.
A midwife is a specially trained and licensed professional, who provide government-funded primary care to pregnant woman and their newborns.
Have you ever considered what it was like to be the mother of Jesus? Imagine, being told you’re going to carry God’s son!? Had to raise Gods son!?
Let’s think about Mary’s pregnancy… Was is a miraculous pregnancy?
Did he ever give Mary heartburn? Morning sickness? Did she have Braxton Hicks? Did Mary have mood swings and food cravings?
I can’t help to think what if Mary struggled to carry like so many of us woman experience in pregnancy too.
Ecclesiastes 11:5-6 As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things. Sow your seed in the morning, and at the evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.
I had the thought the other day, if my season of being a stay-at-home mom mattered. Does it matter? Am I doing anything significant in this season?
Everyone wanted more time; well here it is.
Covid-19 has impacted the world so greatly; people have lost jobs, mandatory isolation, social distancing rules. We are experiencing things that we’ve never been exposed to before. Businesses are implementing new rules, how they operate, even shutting down temporarily.
No one knows what they are doing. We are all taking things day by day, waiting and expecting new changes, trying to go with the flow and the up in the air that is life right now. Isolated in our homes with countless unstructured hours.
I feel like sitting down to write this I need to practice deep breathing first. I got to be honest, life has been very overwhelming. I wish I could say ‘lately,’ but it’s been a string of significant event after the other the past few years for my family; new job, rough pregnancy, third baby, two moves and the passing of my grandmother. But honestly, just my life alone is why I need to deep breathe… I have three kids five and under. Three boys! I homeschool, I’m a stay at home mom and I just flat out have a lot of responsibilities.
I’m overwhelmed to say the least. Actually, overwhelmed has entered my vocabulary way too many times lately. My husband comes home from work and it’s usually how I define my day; overwhelming. Or before he leaves for work, I’m begging him lately not to go; “but I’m so overwhelmed!”
I’ll be real with you all… I’m overwhelmed to the point causing daily high anxiety.
Everyone has heard the statement that a mom’s job is the “hardest job in the world.”
I can name many reasons for that statement to ring true; the endless to do lists, the sleepless nights, the many demands put on us daily in raising our tiny humans, etc.
Other than the constant worry we are even doing the right thing at all in this journey is the fact that we just don’t get a break!
Laundry, dishes, dusting, bathrooms, meal planning, shopping, appointments, pickups, and drop offs, my oh my... The list is never ending.
If you’re A-type like me, like to-do lists and checking off those lists, you probably struggle with the same part of motherhood as me...
How so quickly you can check off these items on your list only to put them back on your list a week or days later.
It never ends. The list is never actually ever complete.
Lately I’ve been really feeling bogged down by my lists, especially this Christmas season when the lists double. I’ve been letting my anxiety to take control and overcome my emotions; feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated, over tired and just flat out DONE. My life just consisted of checking off this list that never ended.
The older my kids get the more I see myself in them. While I would like to say it’s in their smile or the similarities in our facial expressions, that trigger the “wow they’re mine” moments; it’s typically the challenging moments that make me go “oh crap, there I am!” (Insert face palm)
My kid sassed back (yup, I was a sassy one), my other kid is climbing the window sill (guilty, I was an active climber too), the kids are picky eaters (ugh, my mom did those battles with me too).
There are many little things, but the more I raise my kids, the more I’m reminded just how much I have been trained, molded and prepared for this mission of motherhood.
Anyone that has ever had a child has experienced the question, “Are you going to try for another to get a (insert opposite gender of first child)?” I used to struggle how to answer that. Then once pregnant, you receive the news that you are having another boy, or another girl and people give you this assessing gaze, calculating if you are actually happy with the news of a repeated gender.
It’s like they are waiting for you to reveal how devastated you are; for you to reveal your honest inner desires of wanting the opposite of what you got. Some feel like they should even apologize to you, you know...for your loss.
What do us mothers REALLY think, feel, desire?
Where do we sign him up for school? Should we home school, private school, or public? Who do we hire for speech therapy? What community programs should we sign up for? How can we help him to be more independent? What skills should we work on next?
These are my current thoughts, worries and should decide soon items for my four year old son.