Stolen Joy

​Laundry, dishes, dusting, bathrooms, meal planning, shopping, appointments, pickups, and drop offs, my oh my... The list is never ending.
 
If you’re A-type like me, like to-do lists and checking off those lists, you probably struggle with the same part of motherhood as me...
 
How so quickly you can check off these items on your list only to put them back on your list a week or days later.
 
It never ends. The list is never actually ever complete.
 
Lately I’ve been really feeling bogged down by my lists, especially this Christmas season when the lists double. I’ve been letting my anxiety to take control and overcome my emotions; feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated, over tired and just flat out DONE. My life just consisted of checking off this list that never ended.

​I found myself praying for things to be canceled, circumstances that would force me to stop and slow down. I even prayed for snow this season!
 
I’m craving simplicity, craving slowness, craving moments with family! What the season is supposed to be about!
 
Oh to just sit and play with my boys, hear those giggles and get those little boys snuggles.
 
But I’m just too BUSY!!!!!
 
I’ve been challenged recently by the question:
 
Do you enjoy your day?
 
Do I actually enjoy what I have made my life to be about? What I fill it with? What I include? Or are there things I’m missing, wish I had more of?
 
While yes, my days consist of lists that need to be done (hello motherhood), I realized it also consisted of these beautiful moments that I was failing to participate in.
 
I’m letting my “busy” overtake my joy.
 
I noticed it in when we were out grocery shopping.
 
I noticed it in when kids were at my feet as I switched the laundry.
 
I noticed it in when I quickly threw my 2 year old in his room for his nap and quickly shut the door so that finally I was one kid down so I could go finish the dishes or whatever I had to do.
 
I was frustrated that my kids were nonstop pointing at things they saw in the store slowing me down, that my kids were messing up my piles of laundry I just sorted, and that the 2 year old would cry each time I placed him in his bed for naps.
 
Oh what I didn’t realize...
 
They were pointing at things because they just wanted to show me things through their eyes! They just wanted to spend time with me WHILE I shopped. They were at my feet at the laundry because they wanted to HELP and do laundry WITH me and those tears at nap time... they were because he wanted me to STOP, come lay with him and sing him a song.
 
But here I was, ticking things off my list, being “busy” and not taking the moments that were right in front of me; the joy that was presented to me all day long.
 
It’s amazing how if you stop and take the time at stores to see what they want to see too, how inquisitive they are, seeking knowledge and how cooperative they are to shop longer (rather than my “let go kids, lets hustle” attitude as I run through the stores to get things done fast. You know, check that list! They were actually fun to shop WITH!
 
It’s amazing how curious and their desire to learn the things you do; their sweet hearts to want to help you do the laundry and do things WITH you.
 
It’s amazing how 2-3 minutes of toddler snuggles in bed before nap time, heals your soul. How precious those moments have been this week as I committed to yes to snuggles every time he has asked. To stop, lay down, pause and sing WITH him the silly song he loves so much.
 
I enjoy my kids more when I realize how much I can include them in everything I’m doing but also when I choose to turn off those lists and choose them.
 
I promise, we moms all have lists (and those lists will always be there) BUT we also all have the time and CHOICE to slow down and find the joy in our every day.
 
You have minutes to stop, truly you do.
 
You have 5 extra minutes to spend in the toy isle so your kids can explore, you have time to let them “help” you, you have time for one more book, you have time to sing one more song, you have time to snuggle, you have time to slow down and you have time to turn off...
 
Don’t let your joy be stolen by being “busy” this Christmas season.
 
Have yourself a MERRY little Christmas.