I wanted to be the cool mom. The mom that said yes to everything.
It’s easy to hate the word “no.”
I try to remember that you’re still little and learning but some days that knowledge and understanding is not enough when today is just too tough. Days when there are just so many no’s.
I said no to TV, I said no to hitting your bother, I said no to smearing the window with your hands and mouth (again!), I said no to jumping on the bed. I said no, I said no, I said no.
Oh how I wish I could only say yes to you my love.
Part of parenting is this grand word, “no.” I try to make it prettier by saying “no thank you;” but no is just no, no matter how you say it. There’s nothing fun or sweet about it.
Tantrums are often in a house with a toddler. They are not pleasant for anyone. Days can be long, days can be full of no’s and not many yes’s, days can be full of crying (from both mom and toddler). Let’s be real here, some days I ask him to take a deep breath to calm down and I join in needing one too.
“No”, might result in a flat out sprawl on the floor, hitting any surface possible (bonus if it makes an extra loud noise), hitting ones brother, throwing of items, crying, yelling, kicking, etc. No’s usually lead to time outs in this house and then comes the beauty; a moment that I wish I could freeze. A moment that makes all the “no’s” worth it.
It’s the moment when the crying in time out has stopped. Defeated and exhausted from his loss at attempt for control. He sits there quietly and there’s this still peace in the house. It’s the moment I walk over and give that sweet little boy a hug. The next words he hears are always “I love you.”
People joke how a toddler can be absolutely impossible and a terror, to the most loveable creature on the planet in the matter of 10 seconds. I have found there is this sweet, tender moment of a loveable creature on that time out bench. A moment where he looks to me for comfort, acceptance, love and forgiveness.
It’s in these moments that gives me the opportunity to instill more into his character and for him to learn the appropriate response to this world. I get to be an example to him, encourage him, make him aware of his gifts, his calling and how much he is loved.
These are the moments that are shaping my son; slowly but surely into the man he is called to be. These moments may be repetitive, with the same character building words. But oh how sweet are these moments that makes my calling as a mother so alive and leave me with the feeling of gratefulness that he is mine.
I like to call these moments, “my great work.” The part of this job called mother where I get to really mother and parent.
Therefore, I will continue to say no. I will accept these tantrums as an opportunity to speak life into my son and grow, mold and build him into the man ready to take on this world with confidence, respect and responsibility, (to name a few).
I have to stop looking at the days numerous tantrums as a scale of how good or bad are day was; but rather numerous moments that I got to teach and love on a little boy who needs me most.
So… “NO, my son. NO.” I happily send you to time out; again.