Motherhood; It’s easy to get lost in your never ending to do list and never ending mundane tasks. But, if you had spare time and could do one thing, YOUR CHOICE, what would it be?
I had this crazy thought one day…What are all the things that I do as a mom? What do I spend most of my time doing? (It was a LONG list!) I included items like laundry, cleaning (vacuuming/bathroom), food shopping, Facebook, watching TV, etc.
Then I wrote a list of all the things I’d love to spend my time doing; journaling, writing, taking baths, playing music, reading, baking, etc.
I then wrote beside each item how many times I thought I did said activity in the last 30 days. I wasn’t surprised that Facebook received a 30 as well as watching TV. Laundry had 6 days, food shopping had 4 and cleaning had 2. Then I got to my “things I love list.”
Every single item had zero. ZERO!
Something was wrong here… Is that really how I’m living my life? I did nothing I love to do in the last 30 days? What does that say about me? What does that say about how I think about myself? Am I not worthy of spending time doing something I love?
Oh, but I am.
I am a great mom who needs a break. A well-deserved break.
The best piece of parenting advice I was ever given was; never forget yourself. It’s so easy to get caught up in what they need and forget what you need.
I am not just a mother, I am Taryn too. I want my kids to see me passionate, full of life, have hobbies and things of interest. I want to be an example to them for doing what you love and living a life that brings happiness and joy. I want them to see me as my best version of myself and the best version is when I’m filling my life with things that bring me joy.
When my life is full of joy, I’m a better mom. Simply put. I’m more patient and more loving, to name a few.
Dishes can wait, laundry piles can get higher and expectations can be lowered if that means I can do something I love each and every day.
Honestly, I realized if I had time to watch TV and go on Facebook every day for 30 days, I had time to make time for myself. I had time to make ME a priority.
This change started off slow. Some days (with hubbies help) I can get out of the house and go shopping, other days it’s a quick two sentences jot down in my journal; a quick thought to process later.
As time went on, I started to realize and recognise the pockets of time that I did have; I call them “pocket opportunities.” The pockets of time that I usually wasted. Slowly my life started to shift. When I started scrolling Facebook and realized my pocket opportunity, I began to start putting my phone down and grab my book instead. Sometimes my kids played for 2 minutes before I was interrupted, and sometimes I got 10! 10 minutes of reading was better than zero!
One day I craved a bath, but surely the baby would wake soon from his nap. “Oh well, let’s just try and see how long I can get!” One hour later I ended up with a one hour bath before he woke. Pure bliss!
If you’re like me, I easily forget to put myself first. Maybe it’s because the kid’s needs are right in front of my face and my needs are not? I needed a reminder; a reminder to enjoy each and every day. A reminder to STOP, find the pockets and enjoy. I recently had this sign custom made as a reminder to love me. It’s hung on my bedroom wall so it’s the first thing I see when I wake up. What a beautiful reminder to love myself. (Shop local artist HERE)
So what’s your thing? What do you love doing? What takes the backburner in your life that needs to become more of a priority?
If you were to make your to do list vs love list, how would your two lists compare? What pockets of time could be used to bring more joy in your life? Challenge yourself to remember YOU this next month. You’re worth it.
Enjoy today; every day.
Wife. Mama. Doula. Writer. Blogger. Singer. Christian.